:	HAYOT
Date:	Apr 26, 2006 11:15 AM
Subject:	Brand-o
Body:	I really hate to inform you of this via myspace but I dont know how else to tell you or how else you might find out. Monday night Brand-o was hit by a car on the Highway in Petaluma, CA and he died instantly. We are a drop-in center in SF and kept in touch with Brand-o and the folks he was traveling with and I assure you this is true. We are trying to plan a memorial in the Haight soon. If you have any pictures of him you could send or email us that would really help out. So fucking sad and so sorry to tell you in this manner.

and fucking alex died the other day... and ronnie od'ed and everyones fuckin dieing... i cant take more dieing.

more people have died than months have passed this year.. almost twice as many. .. its fucking it hurts. but i have to go now. i want to write more later.

i could not cope with the rest of them

so i gave up with the best of them

i drank all night with the best of them

i shot dope wioth the best of them

i killed all hope with the best of them

some of them died....

so i can only imagine what happened to the rest of them

i had better luck than the best of them

i said fuck you to the best of them

i ran neck n' neck with the best of them

now its just me and my memories of most of them

sigh, i wanted to write about all the shit that i was feeling but i dont really want to go through the annoyance of feeling everything im writting about. so for now you get this. if you care that is. im still alive, and i guess i can deal with that for now. on the bright side. it could always be worse. and "you are a little soul carrying about a corpse" as Epictetus used to say.

just remember...........

Make an island of yourself,

make yourself your refuge;

there is no other refuge.

Make truth your island,

make truth your refuge;

there is no other refuge.

Digha Nikaya, 16

"There are always good people in the world. And if there weren't, we probably wouldn't be able to eat. Or get drunk. The reasons why we are out here vary. Some choose to be out here. They like the thrill and adventure. Some are throw aways, who nobody wanted. Either fired from their job, thrown out by their land lord, or treated like shit by their parents. I remember arguing with a yuppy. I told them I ran away a year and a half ago. He told me, "Oh, so you're not really homeless..." How the fuck was I supposed to respond to that, without kicking her in the head? Stupid bitch. I couldn't have endured a meaningless life with abusive parents. For some of these kids, it just grew too lonely in Suburbia, with upper working class moms and dads, never enough drugs. For others, it's a long, long life battle, fighting homelessness. One month they're on the streets of San Francisco, next month they have an apartment in Queens. A year later and they're kicking tin cans around Houstin, looking for a squat with a crowbar, and the next week, they finally hitched a ride to New Orleans. Trying to get a job is hard, because the first thing they see is a homeless gutter punk who wants to cause trouble. And they're right. If I was a boss, no fucking way would I hire a gutter punk, and being the gutter punk I am, no fucking way would I choose to have a boss." quote-

GODDAMMIT RED IS BACK THE FUCK IN JAIL FUCK FUCK FUCK.. HE WAS ONLY OUT FOR A WEEK.. FUCK. FUCK IM SAD.

if you want his address gimme a call or email me.

he needs people to send him shit i know hes fucking depressed as hell.

if you want to get on the visitor list gimmie a call

sorry to everyone for being so depressing of a person.. im trying to work on it i promise i know u dont wanna read depressing shit, and its probably pretty annoying.. just seems ive been going through this shit for way to long really way to long. maybe ill post some poems or something or i dont know.. maybe when i learn to better annunciate my thoughts life will be better.

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.




um deffinetly gonna hit up WA OR AZ soon very soon..in warm times.

im getting so fed up with life

Every night he pretended to kill himself in front of her.

Time for a change she thought, as she exchanged the blanks for bullets.

Time for a change he thought, tonight I pretend to kill the baby.

 -story from the smoke box